Bonus Episode - Yep, I uploaded the wrong thing!

Hello!

Yep - if you listened today and thought, what in the world is this, you heard my original recording of the intro and outro instead of the episode including me having to look through all my phone stuff because I had low data storage. 

Instead of beating myself up, I'm turning it into a self-compassion exposure. I explain what happened when I found out and I'm also including the original audio so you can see just what a huge mishap it was haha 

Trigger warning if you don't like to hear cussing!

Anyway, I hope you enjoy and remember that I am just a human that makes mistakes and this is a great opportunity to expose that and remember that life goes on. 

Thanks for being a continued listener, and I've also published the original episode so you can enjoy that!!

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:05

Good morning, podcast listeners. This is an extra, and it is directed for those of you who listened to the podcast for the eight and a half hours I had it up, and I published the wrong thing. So let me walk you through my morning. I published the podcast. Usually I finish it late on a Wednesday night. Well, last night I finished it very late. I was working all day. I do peer support down in Trinidad a couple, which is about two hours from me, about two times a month. And so I was there yesterday and I didn't get home until late, so I started working on the podcast probably after 9 or 9.30. I had to put it together and then I usually do the intro and outro last after I hear the whole podcast and I can put my thoughts in. When I finished last night, I thought, okay, it's done. I'm just going to publish it and go to bed because I'm exhausted. And I wake up this morning leisurely just hanging out and I roll over, and several of my friends had called early this morning, and I thought, uh oh. And then there was a text that said, I think you published the wrong thing. I cannot explain to you how quickly I jumped out of the bed. I don't even think I went down the stairs. I think I leapt down the stairs, thinking to myself, all of the OCD thoughts in my brain. What did I publish? What did I put out to the world that were personal thoughts or a personal journal or a conversation between me and someone else? I mean, my I was shaking by the time I got to my computer. And then I realized I had published the link to where I was practicing the intro and outro. It usually takes me a while to get it to where I want it. And last night was no exception. And that is what I posted. Now I was relieved because last night I have to listen to it back after I record it so I can edit it. And last night when I was listening, I was actually laughing at myself because I just make the stupidest mistakes sometimes. And I also was making fun of my rooster, Clarence. I think I made a noise or something that sounds like Clarence when he gets mad. And when Clarence gets mad, he makes this noise, and I make it back to him. Anyway, I'm doing this as an exposure, and I'm also doing this to practice self-compassion. There are there were many opportunities for me uh between the time I found this out and now that I could have really beat myself up and thought I'm going to lose listeners and everybody's going to think I'm a fraud. Or I mean, I know that most people think that podcasts don't just come out published. I put a lot of thought and a lot of time into making them correct, but I'm not a perfectionist. But when we do things that are less than perfect or do things that may taint what people think about us, that could ruin our day. It could ruin our week, our month. I mean, we could ruminate about this for a very long time. I know that that opportunity is there. I know that I could take what happened today and ruminate about it for days and days, and I'm not. In fact, that's why I'm publishing this. And in fact, I'm publishing the original auto audio with this because I want you to hear it. I want it to be out there as a blooper and a reminder to me that I make mistakes, that the things that I do aren't perfect. If you make a mistake, you can laugh about it. Um, you can do an exposure to it. It may or may not change the way people think about you or your project or your work or anything. So I'm going to also in this little blip publish the original audio so you can hear what I published earlier and what it's like when I'm recording and the mistakes I make. And also you can hear what I'm talking about with my rooster. By the way, I also wanted to add a little note. I'm getting a lot of incredible feedback from the podcast, just how original some of these episodes are. I want to give a big thank you for being a listener. I'm so happy to hear that it's been helping you and making you feel less alone. And also a huge shout out to all of these amazing people who are taking their own time to come and record and share their experience so vulnerably to all of you. We are absolutely in this all together. It's just been such a passion project for me. Uh, and I have really enjoyed putting this together. And doing something like today helps me remember that um these things are going to happen. But again, we're all in this together. And like so many of my guests today on the podcast said, we are human and we make mistakes and things happen. Um, I'm just choosing to look at this with humor and uh grace. And I hope you enjoy the uh blooper audio I'm going to publish here in a minute and also the episode this week. Thank you for listening, and I will see you next week. Welcome to Intrusive Thoughts Unmasked, the podcast where we explore what it's really like to live with intrusive thoughts. Oof. Rissy. Rissy. Welcome to Intrusive Thoughts Unmasked, the podcast where we explore what it's really like to live with intrusions, the emotional landscape that comes with them, and the common experiences so many of us share. I'm Chrissy Hodges, and I created this podcast to bring lived experience into the light for those navigating intrusions and mental rituals with OCD. My hope is that here you can finally take off the mask. My hope is that here you can finally take off the mask we often wear to hide this disorder. I want you to feel seen, understood, and accepted exactly as you are. Why is this blurry?

SPEAKER_01 9:27

Yeah, I can't see. Okay, that's better. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 9:34

Welcome to episode 11. Today we're gonna talk about what self-compassion means to me. This is an exciting episode because self-compassion is so hard to come by when we live with OCD. So we have three different people talking about what self-compassion means to them. And I hope that you're able to take away some sort of and I hope that and I hope that in this episode you'll be able to hear. And as we know with OCD, this is such a difficult topic and something that's really hard for us to practice or even think that we deserve. Today we have three lived experienced speakers talking about what self-compassion means to them. And I really hope that some of the things that they are sharing with you today helps you to see that you absolutely deserve self-compassion and that you can walk away from this episode with a few tools to help you start practicing daily. I hope you enjoy the show. Thank you so much for being here and for unmasking with me today. I was so excited to hear that all three people had a lot of the same things to talk about when it came to self-compassion in relation to their own life, and also expressed that this is sometimes difficult and challenging to do. It's challenging for me too. And it was good to hear that this is a practice that we can work on daily, and that some of them gave practical tips on what we can do each day for us to start seeing that we deserve self-compassion and that we can actually attain it, even when our brain says that we don't. I was excited to hear that all of the speakers talked about self-compassion in a way that was a practice, and that it didn't come easy for them, and also that there are practical things that we can start doing every single day to help us understand that we deserve it and that we can get better at it. So I hope it was helpful for you. I certainly walked away with some okay. Thank you so much for being here and for unmasking with me today. I hope you enjoyed the show. I was really excited to hear that all three speakers talked about self-compassion is sometimes feeling unattainable because we don't deserve it. It's so hard when we're living with OCD, and often we don't even understand what it is. It was really great to hear that there were practical tips and things that we can do every single day to practice at getting better at this and in the long run help us to see that we do deserve compassion, especially for what we go through with OCD. I really hope it was helpful for you. If this podcast supports you, inspired you, or helps you to feel a little less alone, I'd love for you to consider supporting it on Patreon. Your monthly pledge helps you to keep these conversations going and to create even more resources for this wonderful community. You can join us at patreon.com slash interest of thoughts and mask. And remember, when you are here, you do not have to wear the mask. You're seen, you're understood, and accepted exactly as you are. I'll see you next week.